It’s so easy to rip on teenagers, they are so obvious with their dumb ideas, hasty actions and sheer lack of hygiene that they make themselves easy targets. But honestly, grossness aside, the teen years are actually my favourite stage of parenting, hands down. Yes, the years of bedtime snuggles, hand-holding and sweet kisses are gone but they are replaced with so many other amazing moments.
No more toys. You are no longer stepping on lego or barbie shoes that are laying all over the goddamn house. (However, you will still be tripping over shoes)
No more babysitters or daycare! Yup, once you hit that golden age and they can start staying home alone, you’re going to have a tiny bit of expendable income (briefly) and freedom.
They learn to drive and suddenly you have an uber driver for those nights when you need a ride or don’t want to drive your subsequent children to hockey practice. Forgot the milk, no biggie have your minion go get it.
They sleep! Man do they sleep. Now, arguably this can also be placed on the downside of teens because they will sleep all day if you let them but on Sunday morning when you want to sleep in, your womb gremlins aren’t waking you up at 6 am. Queue the singing angels, there is something to be said for getting up when you want to get up.
They make great fashion and beauty consultants. They have the best makeup and the coolest shoes. However, do prepare yourself for some less-than-sensitive critiques.
No more indoor play parks and playdates. No further words are needed here.
No more hanging out in mom packs, you can choose your own friends. Spoiler Alert! you don't have to be friends with your kid's friends' parents, it's just a bonus when you like them.
They can use the washroom on their own. No more wiping their asses.
They have more freedom and so do you! No more strict bedtime routines, they manage their own social lives and they can get a job to help fund their lavish lifestyles.
They are full of optimism for the future. This part is magic because as we get older we do become slightly pessimistic about life and our kids remind us that the world truly is full of possibility.
They are physically more capable and therefore can do some of the heavy lifting. Think yard work!!!
They start hearing you. Seeing that not everything you tried to teach them was lost on deaf ears. All of a sudden all those years of preaching, nagging and reminding pay off and they actually start hearing and modelling what you’ve tried to instill in them.
You can play a game and not have to pretend to let them win. Truth, I never "let" them win, I just feel way less guilty for kicking their asses.
They give you sass but you kind of enjoy it. Sarcasm is my favourite kind of humour and I’m thrilled my kids now know how to use it correctly.
You are no longer a snack bitch! That's right, now more cutting grapes in half or secretly hiding veggies in everything you make, they actually eat what's in front of them. And if they don’t like what you made, they can make something themselves.
If you still have tiny humans, love them hard and hold them tight because there will come a time when that stops. But know in those dark moments when you just can't take another conversation about Minecraft, know that it gets better. Don't free the teen years, because I'm here to tell you it's fucking awesome.
A Captain's Blog is a real-life millennial mom's account of parenting teenagers and navigating a busy family life with honesty and humour. I'm a digital creator who loves to inspire, empower and connect by sharing my personal experience. I am a serial entrepreneur, and social media marketing maven who would love to have you along for the ride.
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