Mom's Grievances

Captain’s Log

Tuesday, September 28th, 2021

The Ship and its crew have managed to sail through the first few weeks of September with virtually no hiccups. Back to school so far seems to be going well and all crew members are rejoicing in the monotony of Monday to Friday. No one is rejoicing louder than myself. I love the school year and not just because it allows me a few hours of alone time each week but because we get into a solid routine. I can’t speak for other Crews but this one thrives on schedules and the predictability that the school year brings.

However, it’s not all sunshine and puppies, and like every other school year before this one, we are still struggling with a few pain points. One would think that after 14 years of sending kids to school that I would have every aspect on lockdown but I admit there are still a few areas that I am no closer to finding the answers I’m looking for.

Coming in at #3 on my list of school grievances is my ability to over-commit to school groups, parent volunteering and side projects. I truly believe it’s a sickness for I can come up with no other reason as to why I continue to repeat the same patterns year after year.

I often ask myself, why I am agreeing to be on the parent council again this year? For the past 3, I’ve told myself I’m stretching myself too thin and that it’s time for someone else to pick up the torch and take charge, yet here I am again. It's like I'm a glutton for punishment.

This year I actually signed up to be the den mother for the girl's hockey change room, honestly what was I thinking? I know have to attend not only each game but EVERY practice. I must report the Duchess is completely horrified by this new development and I’m sure if you asked her this would be her number one pain point, aside from her father and I insisting she participate in one physical activity.

It’s like I literally cannot keep my hand from shooting up when someone asks if there is a parent volunteer interested in taking on some new fundraiser or project. FML! It’s almost like I have these out-of-body experiences and cannot control my hand’s actions, even though my brain is screaming STOP!! I seriously think I may need to seek professional help on this one.

Moving down the list coming in the #2 position is breakfast.

Getting the crew to eat before they leave the house in the morning is pretty much impossible. Mostly because they sleep until the absolute last second but also because they are too lazy to cobble anything together, despite the abundance of options in the mess hall.

When I remind them of the importance of fueling their brains for the day, the Duchess comes back at me with the argument that the cereal companies made up “it’s the most important meal of the day” slogan to sell more cereal and she won’t be fooled by corporate marketing schemes.

Rounding out this shortlist is my undefeated champion of school grievances...

SCHOOL LUNCHES.

They are literally the bane of my existence. Every Sunday before heading to the grocery store we ask all crew members for a detailed list of what they are currently eating this week so that we can buy accordingly. We’ve made the grave error on multiple occasions of assuming that because they liked sandwiches last week that they would enjoy them the following week. Furthermore, it should be noted that just because it was enjoyed once does not mean they will ever enjoy it again. Ever. This is always an incorrect assumption and will result in you throwing away untouched meals.

It's brutal, after 14 years of packing lunches I am literally scraping at the bottom of the barrel for acceptable lunch options. The best we’ve come up with this year is cash tossed a lunch box with perhaps a 2 for 1 coupon, otherwise, we are failing, miserably. The only saving grace at this stage in the game is that the teachers aren’t helping them open the containers anymore.

Someone pass the Pinot!