Captain’s Log
Tuesday, October 18th, 2022
Our week with Relic aka the harbinger of chaos, ended Saturday morning when I had to return him to school. As much as I absolutely loved having him home, I also love not having clothes everywhere and having to unwillingly participate in scavenger hunts to find glasses or bowls.
Relic did try hard to adult while home, managing to start his own laundry. Unfortunately, he failed to check his pockets and threw a pair of pants into the dryer with a tube of chapstick. Needless to say, I ended up having to rewash it all however, I have awarded him extra rations for showing initiative.
Friday was our final evening together for a while so we choose to enjoy a good ole fashioned family night. We finished dinner and followed it up with watching the kids clean up the mess hall. While the Duchess tried to start a revolution over the poor working conditions of our fine vessel, Relic applied some newly acquired maturity and encouraged her to just get to work. Number 2 and I raised our glasses to both of them, congratulating the Duchess on her passion for social justice and the boy for his leadership skills, then reminded them that the evening options were dishes or the plank.
Once the crew finished their chores we all ended up on the sofa watching a movie together. I don't know how much of the movie I actually got to watch because it felt like I was constantly reminding the teenage dirtbags that snuggling their mother doesn’t involve draping their gross ass feet over her.
Saturday morning the boy and I headed to Waterloo bright and early, having made great time. I am thrilled to report that I only got lost once and still managed to beat the ETA google maps estimated, which is pretty big news for me as I have zero sense of direction, typically I get lost in malls.
After the boy managed to spend all my money picking up “essentials”, I headed back home for a quiet evening.
Sunday was a bit dreary, so I spent the afternoon enjoying my favourite pastime, telling my family I was reading but really just napping. No one seemed particularly interested in calling me out on my bull shit. Number 2 really enjoyed himself Saturday night which resulted in him developing a bizarre parasitic symbiosis with the sofa that took most of the day for him to shake off. I’ll admit it was touch and go, but he managed to rally to make dinner.
As for the duchess, I’m not even sure I can award her a participation trophy, she was in full vampire mode Sunday and barely left her cabin. I was forced to spend most of the day communicating with her via text.
life is never boring with this crew.