Captain’s Log
Monday, November 7th, 2021
I would like to put down on record that I officially do not know where October went, all I know is that I was not at all present. I woke up the other day and Halloween had come and gone and we barely managed to get the pumpkins carved. Furthermore, my offspring failed to procure enough Halloween candy to produce a sizeable candy tax and I was left with only a couple of mini chocolate bars. They are a disgrace.
After such an insanely busy month I was blessed with a unicorn of a day on Saturday, No Family At Home. Both Number 2 and Relic were are at work and plot twist, so was the Duchess.
I’m thrilled to report that the Duchess has gotten her very first job! Our delightful little angle (cough) is the newest barista for Tim Horton’s. She went over for lunch last week and the manager asked her if she had a job. When lucy told her “no” she proceeded to hand her a form and told her to apply. I have to applaud that manager, I think she’s brilliant, sneak attack job fair on a random lunch period. I sent her in to drop off her application and she walked out holding a uniform.
So, while the crew was at work I cleaned the house like the loser I am. We’ve hardly been home in weeks and this ship looked like it’s been raided and left to sink. After a serious detox of the entire house, I was feeling much better. I went a little crazy, washed the shower curtains, cleaned the washing machine, washed the walls, all totally normal for my clean freak tendencies on top of the usual long list of weekly chores. I even managed to wash all 3000 loads of laundry and am thrilled to report that I have almost all lost sock souls reunited with their pairs. I know it’s a little neurotic but I honestly cannot focus in a messy house, it jacks my anxiety up to 1000. Does anyone else feel like this sometimes?
Feeling very accomplished, and slightly exhausted from the morning’s activities I chose to get a little crazy and I went grocery shopping. I delegated pick of the Duchess up to Relic so that I could wander through Micheals after I indulged in a Starbucks beverage and lemon loaf in the car alone. I don’t care what anyone says, eating treats in the car by yourself is self-care. Sometimes a quiet empty car, a coffee and a sugary treat feel just as relaxing and self-indulgent as a day at the spa.
Upon returning aboard the ship I tasked the crew with unloading the grocery. The Duchess complained about her sore feet and about the tragedy that is her work uniform. It appears a very handsome young man came into the store and she was appalled that she had to serve him while wearing the Tim Hortons uniform, which included a very sharp-looking visor. I tried very hard to sympathize with her but in truth, I was dying of laughter.
Sunday was so beautiful out that the crew begged me to give them yard maintenance chores and so like a good Captain I obliged them. Mother Nature gave us a taste of what is coming last week so we hustled to get all the summer stuff put away. Number 2 and I enjoyed a quiet afternoon of sitting by a bonfire, drinking a beer while listening to the kids bitch about having to finish their chores. It was absolutely perfect.
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